我们仨失散了（2）

晚上我假装睡了，至少让阿圆能安静工作。好在明天有她在身边，我心上有依傍。可是我一夜没睡。

At night, I pretended to be asleep, at least to allow A Yuan to work quietly. Fortunately, she would be by my side tomorrow, providing some support. However, I didn’t sleep a wink all night.

早起我们俩同做早饭。早饭后她叫我出去散步。我一个人不愿意散步。

In the morning, the two of us made breakfast together. After breakfast, she asked me to go out for a walk. I didn’t want to walk alone.

她洗碗，我烧开水，灌满一个个暖瓶。这向例是钟书的事。我定不下心，只顾发呆，满屋子乱转。电话铃响我也没听到。

She washed the dishes while I boiled water, filling one thermos after another. Normally, this was Zhong Shu's job. I couldn’t settle down, just absently wandering around the house. I didn’t even hear the phone ring.

电话是阿圆接的。她高兴地喊：“爸爸！”

A Yuan picked up the phone. She happily called out, “Dad!”

我赶紧过来站在旁边。

I quickly rushed over to stand beside her.

她说：“嗯......嗯......嗯......嗯......嗯。”都是”嗯”。然后挂上电话。

She said, “Mm... mm... mm... mm... mm.” It was all “mm.” Then she hung up the phone.

我着急地问：“怎么说？”

I anxiously asked, “What did they say?”

她只对我摆摆手，忙忙抢过一片纸，在上面忙忙地写，来不及地写，写的字像天书。

She just waved her hand at me and hurriedly grabbed a piece of paper, writing on it in a rush, her handwriting looking like hieroglyphics.

她说：“爸爸有了！我办事去。”她两个手指头点着太阳穴说：“别让我混忘了，回来再讲。”

She said, “Dad has got it! I’m off to take care of business.” She tapped her temples with two fingers and said, “Don’t let me forget, I’ll tell you when I get back.”

她忙忙地挂着个皮包出门，临走说：“娘，放心。也许我赶不及回来吃饭，别等我，你先吃。”

She hurriedly left with a handbag and said before departing, “Mom, don’t worry. I might not make it back in time for dinner, so don’t wait for me, just eat first.”

幸亏是阿圆接的电话，她能记。我使劲儿叫自己放心，只是放不下。我不再胡思乱想，只一门心思等阿圆回来，干脆丢开工作，专心做一顿好饭。

Fortunately, it was A Yuan who answered the phone; she could remember. I told myself to relax, but I just couldn’t let go of my worries. I stopped my random thoughts and focused purely on waiting for A Yuan to return, setting aside my work to prepare a nice meal.

我退休前曾对他们许过愿。我说：“等我退休了，我补课，我还债，给你们一顿一顿烧好吃的菜。”我大半辈子只在抱歉，觉得自己对家务事潦草塞责，没有尽心尽力。

Before I retired, I had made them a promise. I said, “Once I retire, I’ll make up for lessons, pay off debts, and cook good meals for you.” For most of my life, I have been apologetic, feeling neglectful towards household matters and not putting in the heart and effort.

他们两个都笑说：“算了吧！”

Both of them laughed and said, “Forget it!”

阿圆不客气说，“妈妈的刀工就不行，见了快刀子先害怕，又性急，不耐烦等火候。”

A Yuan bluntly said, “Mom’s knife skills are no good; she gets scared when she sees a sharp knife and is too impatient to wait for the right timing.”

钟书说：“为什么就该你做菜呢？你退了，能休吗？”

Zhong Shu said, “Why is it always you who has to cook? Don't you get to rest after you retire?”

说实话，我做的菜他们从未嫌过，只要是我做的，他们总叫好。

To be honest, they had never complained about my cooking; as long as I made it, they always praised it.

这回，我且一心一意做一顿好饭，叫他们出乎意外。一面又想，我准把什么都烧坏了，或许我做得好，他们都不能准时回来。

This time, I was wholeheartedly focused on making a nice meal to surprise them. Yet, I couldn’t help but think that I would surely ruin everything, or perhaps if I cooked well, they would not come back on time.

因为——因为事情往往是别扭的，总和希望或想像的不一样。

Because—because things are often contradictory, and reality does not match one’s hopes or imagination.

我做的饭真不错，不该做得那么好。我当然失望的很，也着急得很。

The food I made turned out quite well, perhaps even better than it should have. Of course, I was very disappointed and anxious.

阿圆叫我别等她，我怎能不等呢。我直等到将近下午四点阿圆才回家，只她一人。

A Yuan told me not to wait for her, but how could I not wait? I waited until nearly four o'clock in the afternoon for A Yuan to return, and she came back alone.

回家脱下皮鞋，换上拖鞋，显然走了不少路，很累了，自己倒水喝。我的心直往下沉。

After taking off her dress shoes and putting on slippers, it was clear she had walked quite a bit and was very tired, immediately pouring herself some water to drink. My heart sank.

阿圆却很得意地说：“总算给我找着了！地址没错，倒了两次车，一找就找到。可是我排了两个冤枉队，一个队还很长，真冤枉。

But A Yuan proudly said, “I finally found it! The address wasn’t wrong; I switched buses twice, but I found it at last. However, I stood in two unnecessary lines, and one line was quite long—what a waste of time.

挨到我，窗口里的那人说："你不在这里排，后面。"他就不理我了。

When I got to the window, that person said, ‘You’re not in the right line; go to the back.’ He just ignored me after that.

"后面"在哪里呢？我照着爸爸说的地方四面问人，都说不知道。我怕过了办公时间找不到人，忽见后面有一间小屋，里面有个人站在窗口，正要关窗。

“Where is the back?” Following Dad's directions, I asked people in all directions, but no one knew. I was afraid that I wouldn’t find anyone after office hours. Just then, I saw a small room in the back, where someone was standing by the window, about to close it.

我抢上去问他："古驿道在哪儿？"

I rushed up to him and asked, ‘Where is the Guyi Road?’

他说："就这儿。"

He said, ‘It’s right here.’

喔！我松了好大一口气。我怕记忘了，再哪儿找去。”

Oh! I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I was worried I would forget and not know where else to look.”

“古驿道？”我皱着眉头摸不着头脑。

“Guyi Road?” I frowned, not understanding.

“是啊，妈妈，我从头讲给你听。爸爸是报到以后抢时间打来的电话，说是他们都得到什么大会堂开会，交通工具各式各样，有飞机，后火车，有小汽车，有长途汽车等等，机票、车票都抢空了，爸爸说，他们要抢早到会，坐在头排，让他们抢去吧，他随便。他选了没人要的一条水道，坐船。爸爸一字一字交待得很清楚，说是”古驿道”。

“Yes, Mom, let me start from the beginning. Dad called after he checked in to take up time. He said they all had to go to the conference hall, and there were various modes of transportation: plane, old train, private car, long-distance bus, etc. All the tickets were sold out. Dad said they had to arrive early for the meeting, sitting in the front row, and let them fight for it; he would take whatever. He chose a waterway that no one wanted and took a boat. Dad explained it clearly, saying it was the ‘Guyi Road.’

那个办事处窗口的人说：”这会儿下班了，下午来吧。”其实离下班还不到五分钟呢，他说下午二时办公。我不敢走远，近处也没有买吃的地方。我就在窗根儿底下找个地方坐等，直等到两点十七八分，那人才打开窗口，看见我在原地等着，倒也有些抱歉。

The person at the service window said, ‘It’s after hours, come back in the afternoon.’ In fact, it was still not even five minutes until closing. He said he would be back at two in the afternoon. I didn’t dare walk far; there wasn't even anywhere nearby to buy food. So I stayed by the window, finding a place to sit and wait until about 2:17 or 18, when he finally opened the window. Seeing me waiting there, he seemed somewhat apologetic.

他说：”你是家属吗？家属只限至亲。”所以家属只你我两个。他给了那边客栈的地址，让咱们到那边去办手续。怎么办，他都细细告诉我了。”

He said, ‘Are you a family member? Family members are limited to immediate relatives.’ So the only family members are just the two of us. He gave us the address of the inn over there and told us to go there to complete our registration. He explained everything to me in detail.”

阿圆说：“今天来不及到那边儿去办手续了，肯定又下班了。妈妈，你急也没用，咱们只好等明天了。”

A Yuan said, “We can’t make it over there to register today; they will definitely be off duty again. Mom, being anxious won’t help; we just have to wait until tomorrow.”

我热了些肉汤让阿圆先点点饥，自己也喝了两口。我问：“”那边”在哪儿？”

I heated some meat soup for A Yuan to ease her hunger, and I had a couple of sips as well. I asked, “Where is ‘over there’?”

阿圆说：“我记着呢。还有罗罗嗦嗦许多事，反正我这儿都记下了。”

A Yuan said, “I remember. There are many other things I jotted down; anyway, I’ve got it all noted here.”

她给我看看自己皮包里的笔记本。

She showed me the notebook in her bag.

她说：“咱们还得把现款和银行存单都带上，因为手续一次办完，有余退还，不足呢，半路上不能补办手续。”

She said, “We need to bring both the cash and the bank deposit slip, because the paperwork needs to be done all at once; if there’s excess, it will be refunded, and if not, we can’t complete the paperwork halfway.”

我觉得更像绑架案了，只是没敢说，因为阿圆从不糊涂。

It seemed more like a kidnapping situation to me, but I didn’t dare say so because A Yuan was never muddle-headed.

我重新热了做好的饭，两人食而不知其味地把午饭、晚饭并作一顿吃。

I reheated the meal I had prepared; the two of us ate lunch and dinner together without realizing the taste.

我疑疑惑惑地问：“办多长的手续呀？带多少行李呢？”

I curiously asked, “How long is the registration process? How much luggage do we need to take?”

阿圆说：“洗换的衣服带两件，日用的东西那边客栈里都有，有了钱就行，要什么都有。”

A Yuan said, “Just bring two sets of clothes for changing; the daily necessities will be provided by the inn. As long as we have money, there’s everything we need.”

她约略把她记下的罗罗嗦嗦事告诉我，我不甚经心地听着。

She vaguely told me everything she had jotted down while I listened somewhat inattentively.

阿圆一再对我说：“娘，不要愁，有我呢。咱们明天就能见到爸爸了。”

A Yuan kept saying, “Mom, don’t be worried; I’m here. We’ll be able to see Dad tomorrow.”

我无奈说：“我怕爸爸要急坏了——他居然也知道打个电话。也多亏是你接的。我哪里记得清。我现在出门，路都不认识了，车也不会乘了，十足的饭桶了。”

I helplessly replied, “I’m worried Dad will be anxious—he even knew to make a phone call. It’s lucky you answered. I can’t remember everything clearly. If I go out now, I wouldn’t know the way; I can’t take the bus either; I’d be a complete fool.”

阿圆缩着脖子做了个鬼脸说：“妈妈这只饭桶里，只有几颗米粒儿一勺汤。”

A Yuan curled her neck and made a funny face, saying, “In this fool’s head, there are only a few grains of rice and a spoonful of soup.”

我给她说得笑了。她安慰我说：“反正不要紧，我把你安顿在客栈里，你不用认路，不用乘车。我只能来来往往，因为我得上课。”

I was amused by her words. She comforted me, saying, “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’ll get you settled in the inn; you don’t need to know the way or ride the bus. I just have to come and go because I need to attend class.”

阿圆细细地看她的笔记本。我收拾了一个小小的手提包，也理出所有的存单，现款留给阿圆。

A Yuan carefully examined her notebook. I packed a small handbag and gathered all the deposit slips, leaving cash for A Yuan.

第二天早餐后，阿圆为我提了手提包，肩上挂着自己的皮包，两人乘一辆出租车，到了老远的一个公交车站。

The next day, after breakfast, A Yuan took my handbag and hung her own bag over her shoulder. The two of us took a taxi to a far-off bus station.

她提着包，护着我，挤上公交车，又走了好老远的路。下车在荒僻的路上又走了一小段路，之间路旁有旧木板做成的一个大牌子，牌子上是小篆体的三个大字：“古驿道”。

She carried the bags, protected me, and squeezed onto the bus, then walked quite a distance after getting off. We walked along a desolate path where there was a large sign made of old wooden boards. On it were three large characters in small seal script: “Guyi Road.”

下面有许多行小字，我没带眼镜，模模糊糊看到几个似曾见过的地名，如灞陵道，咸阳道等。

Below, there were many small characters. I didn’t have my glasses with me, and I vaguely saw a few place names I had seen before, such as Ba Ling Dao, Xian Yang Dao, etc.

阿圆眼快，把手一点说：“到了，就是这里。妈妈，你只管找号头，311，就是爸爸的号。”

A Yuan was quick to point, saying, “We’re here, this is it. Mom, just look for number 311; that’s Dad's number.”

她牵着我一拐弯走向一个门口。她在门上一个不显眼的地方按一下，原来是电铃。

She led me to a door and pressed a spot on it that wasn’t very noticeable, which turned out to be an electric bell.

门上立即开出一个窗口。阿圆出示证件，窗口关上，门就开了。我们走入一家客栈的后门，那后门也随即关上。

A window opened immediately in the door. A Yuan showed her credentials, the window closed, and the door opened. We entered through the back door of an inn, which then closed behind us.

客栈是坐北向南的小楼，后门向南。进门就是柜台。

The inn was a small building facing south, with the back door also pointing south. Right inside the door was the front desk.

阿圆说：“妈妈，累了吧？”

A Yuan asked, “Mom, are you tired?”

她在柜台近侧找到个坐处，叫妈妈坐下，把手提包放在我身边。

She found a place to sit near the front desk, had me sit down, and placed the handbag beside me.

她自己就去招呼柜台后面的人办手续。先是查看种种证件，阿圆都带着呢。

She went to greet the person behind the counter to handle the registration process. First, they checked various documents, which A Yuan had all prepared.

掌柜的仔细看过，然后拿出几份表格叫她一一填写。她填了又填，然后交费。

The manager looked over carefully, then took out several forms and asked her to fill them out one by one. She filled them out and then paid.

我暗想，假如是绑匪，可真是官派十足啊。

I thought to myself, if this were a kidnapping situation, it could have come straight from the government.

那掌柜的把存单一一登记，一面解释说：“我们这里房屋是简陋些，管理却是新式的；这一路上长亭短亭都已改建成客栈了，是连锁的一条龙。你们领了牌子就不用再交费，每个客栈都供吃、供住、供一切方便。

The manager registered our deposit slips one by one, while explaining: “Our accommodation is somewhat basic, but the management is modern. All along this route, the old pavilions have been converted into inns, forming part of a chain. Once you receive the tags, there’s no need to pay again; each inn provides meals, accommodation, and all conveniences.

旅客的衣着和日用品都可以在客栈领，记帐。旅客离开房间的时候，把自己的东西归置一起，交给柜台。船上的旅客归船上管，你们不得插手。住客栈的过客，得遵守我们客栈的规则。”他拿出印好的一纸警告，一纸规则。

Passengers’ clothes and daily necessities can be collected at the inn, on account. When guests leave their rooms, they should gather their belongings together and hand them over to the front desk. Passengers on boats will be taken care of by the boat staff; you must not interfere. Guests at our inn must follow our rules.” He took out a printed warning and a set of rules.

警告是红牌黑字，字很大。 （一）顺着驿道走，没有路的地方，别走。 （二） 看不见的地方，别去。 （三） 不知道的事情，别问。

The warning was on a red card with black letters, and the font was large. (1) Stay on the Guyi Road; do not stray where there are no paths. (2) Do not go to unseen places. (3) Do not ask about things you don’t know.

规则是白纸黑字，也是大字。 （一） 太阳落到前舱，立即回客栈。驿道荒僻，晚间大门上闩后，敲门也不开。 （二） 每个客栈，都可以休息、方便，进餐，勿错过。 （三） 下船后退回原客栈。

The rules were black letters on white paper, also in large font. (1) When the sun sets, immediately return to the inn. The Guyi Road is desolate, and once the doors are locked at night, they will not open for anyone. (2) Every inn provides rest, convenience, and meals; don’t miss out. (3) After disembarking, return to the original inn.

掌柜的发给我们各人一个圆牌，上有号码，北面叫我们按上指印，一面郑重叮嘱，出入总带着牌儿，守规则，勿忘警告，尤其是第三条，因为最难管的是嘴巴。

The manager handed each of us a round tag with a number, asking us to press our fingerprints on the north side. He earnestly reminded us to carry these tags at all times, obey the rules, and not to forget the warnings, especially the third one, because the hardest part to control is one’s mouth.

客栈里正为我们开饭，叫我们吃了饭再上路。

The inn was starting to serve food for us, telling us to eat before continuing on our journey.

我心上纳闷，尤其是那第三条警告叫人纳闷。不知道的事多着呢，为什么不能问？问了又怎么样？

I was baffled, particularly by that third warning, which was perplexing. There are many things one doesn’t know; why couldn’t one ask? What would happen if one did ask?

我用手指点红牌上的第三条故意用肯定的口气向掌柜的说：“不能用一个问字，不能打一个问号。”

I pointed at the third warning on the red tag and said to the manager in an assertive tone, “You can’t use a question, and you can’t put a question mark.”

我这样说，应该不算问。可是掌柜的瞪着眼警告说：“你这话已经在边缘上了，小心！”

I thought that wouldn’t count as a question. But the manager stared at me and warned, “You’re bordering on trouble; be careful!”

我忙说：“谢谢，知道了。”

I quickly replied, “Thank you, I understand.”

阿圆悄悄地把我的手捏了一捏，也是警告的意思。

A Yuan quietly squeezed my hand, meaning it was a warning as well.