娃娃新娘（2）

屋角坐着一个黑得像炭似的女人，她是唯一坐在男人群中的女人，她不蒙头，披了一大块黑布，仰着头专心用力的在打鼓，打几十下就站起来，摇晃着身体，口中尖声呼啸，叫声原始极了，一如北美的印地安人，全屋子里数她最出色。

In the corner of the room sat a woman as black as coal; she was the only woman among the group of men. She did not cover her head, draped in a large piece of black cloth, and was intensely focused as she beat the drum. After beating it many times, she stood up, swaying her body, and let out a high-pitched wail that was primal, reminiscent of North American Indians. In the entire room, she was the most outstanding.

“她是谁？”我问姑卡的哥哥。

"Who is she?" I asked Guka's brother.

“是我祖母处借来的奴隶，她打鼓出名的。”

"She is a slave borrowed from my grandmother; she is famous for her drumming."

“真是了不起的奴隶。”我啧啧赞叹着。

"She's truly an impressive slave," I exclaimed in admiration.

这时房内又坐进来三个老年女人，她们随着鼓声开始唱起没有起伏的歌，调子如哭泣一般，同时男人全部随着歌调拍起手来。

At that moment, three older women entered the room. They began to sing a monotonous song in rhythm with the drumbeat, their melodies sounding like cries, while the men all clapped along with the tune.

我因是女人，只有在窗外看着这一切，所有的年轻女人都挤在窗外，不过她们的脸完全蒙起来了，只有美丽的大眼睛露在外面。

As a woman, I could only watch from outside the window, where all the younger women were crowded, their faces completely covered except for their beautiful large eyes which peeked out.

看了快两小时，天已黑了，鼓声仍然不变，拍手唱歌的人也是一个调子。

After watching for nearly two hours, it was already dark, but the drumbeats remained unchanged, and the clapping and singing continued in the same tone.

我问姑卡的母亲，“这样要拍到几点？”

I asked Guka's mother, "How long will this go on?"

她说：“早呢，你回去睡觉吧！”

She replied, "It's still early; you should go back and sleep!"

我回去时千叮万嘱姑卡的小妹妹，清早去迎亲时要来叫醒我。

As I was leaving, I reminded Guka's little sister repeatedly to wake me when it was time to greet the bridegroom.

清晨三时的沙漠还是冷得令人发抖。姑卡的哥哥正与荷西在弄照相机谈话。

In the cold early morning desert, it was still freezing. Guka's brother was talking with Jose about photography.

我披了大衣出来时，姑卡的哥哥很不以为然的说：“她也要去啊？”

When I walked out wearing my coat, Guka's brother skeptically remarked, "You're going too?"

我赶紧求他带我去，总算答应我了。女人在此地总是没有地位。

I quickly pleaded with him to take me, and he finally agreed. Women here always had no status.

我们住的这条街上布满了吉普车，新的旧的都有，看情形罕地在族人里还有点声望，我与荷西上了一辆迎亲的车子，这一大排车不停的按着喇叭在沙地上打转，男人口中原始的呼叫着往姑卡的姨母家开去。

On the street where we lived, there were many jeeps—new and old. It seemed that having a jeep still held some status among the tribes. Jose and I got into one of the wedding cars, which began honking nonstop as it turned in the sandy terrain, with the men calling out their primal cries as we headed toward Guka's aunt's house.

据说过去习俗是骑骆驼，放空枪，去帐篷中迎亲，现在吉普车代替了骆驼，喇叭代替了空枪，但是喧哗吵闹仍是一样的。

It was said that in the past, the custom was to ride camels, shoot blank guns, and go into tents to greet the bride; now the jeeps replaced the camels, and the horns replaced the blank guns, yet the noise and commotion remained the same.

最气人的要算看迎亲了，阿布弟下了车，跟着一群年轻朋友冲进姑卡坐着的房间，也不向任何人打招呼，上去就抓住姑卡的手臂硬往外拖，大家都在笑，只有姑卡低了头在挣扎。

The most infuriating part was watching the greeting of the bride. Abudi got out of the car and, followed by a group of young friends, rushed into the room where Guka was sitting without greeting anyone, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her out. Everyone laughed, but Guka lowered her head and struggled.

因为她很胖，阿布弟的朋友们也上去帮忙拖她，这时她开始哭叫起来，我并不知她是真哭假哭，但是，看见这批人如此粗暴的去抓她，使人非常激动。

Because she was quite plump, Abudi's friends also rushed to help pull her. At this moment, she began to cry out, and I didn't know if her cries were real or fake; however, seeing this group of people grab her so roughly was incredibly stirring.

我咬住下唇看这场闹剧如何下场，虽然我已经看得愤怒起来。

I bit my lip, watching this farce unfold, increasingly angry.

这时姑卡已在门外了，她突然伸手去抓阿布弟的脸，一把抓下去，脸上出现好几道血痕，阿布弟也不示弱，他用手反扭姑卡的手指。

At that point, Guka was already outside the door. She suddenly reached out to grab Abudi's face, leaving several bloody scratches. Abudi did not back down; he twisted her fingers in response.

这时四周都静下来了，只有姑卡口中偶尔发出的短促哭声在夜空中回响。

The surroundings fell silent, only Guka's occasional short, crying sounds echoed in the night sky.

他们一面打，姑卡一面被拖到吉普车旁去，我紧张极了，对姑卡高声叫：“傻瓜，上车啊，你打不过的。”

As they continued to struggle, Guka was dragged toward the jeep. I was extremely anxious, calling out to her loudly, "Fool, get in the car! You can't fight them."

姑卡的哥哥对我笑着说：“不要紧张，这是风俗，结婚不挣扎，事后要被人笑的。这样拚命打才是好女子。”

Guka's brother smiled at me and said, "Don't worry; it's tradition. If the bride doesn't struggle, she'll be laughed at later. Fighting like this means she’s a good woman."

“既然要拚命打，不如不结婚。”我口中叹着气。

"If she has to fight so hard, it’s better not to get married," I sighed.

“等一下入洞房还得哭叫，你等着看好了，有趣得很。”

"Wait until the bridal chamber; she'll have to cry out. Just wait and see; it's quite interesting."

实在是有趣，但是我不喜欢这种结婚的方式。

It truly was interesting, but I didn't like this way of getting married.

总算回到姑卡的家里了，这时已是早晨五点钟。

Finally, we returned to Guka's house, and it was already five in the morning.

罕地已经避出去，但是姑卡的母亲和弟妹，亲友都没有睡，我们被请入大厅与阿布弟的亲友们坐在一起，开始有茶和骆驼肉吃。

Rarely had anyone escaped, but Guka's mother, siblings, and friends had not slept. We were invited into the large hall to sit with Abudi's relatives, where tea and camel meat were served.

姑卡已被送入另外一间小房间内去独自坐着。

Guka had been taken to another small room to sit alone.

吃了一些东西，鼓声又响起来，男客们又开始拍着手呻吟。我一夜没睡实在是累了，但是又舍不得离去。

After eating some food, the drumming started again, and the male guests resumed their clapping and groaning. I hadn’t slept all night and was truly exhausted, but I was reluctant to leave.

“三毛，你先回去睡，我看了回来告诉你。”荷西对我说，我想了一下，最精彩的还没有来，我不回去。

"Sanmao, you should go back and sleep first. I’ll let you know what happened when I return," Jose said to me. I thought for a moment; the most exciting part hadn’t happened yet, so I stayed.

唱歌拍手一直闹到天快亮了，我方看见阿布弟站起来，等他一站起来，鼓声马上也停了，大家都望着他，他的朋友们开始很无聊的向他调笑起来。

The singing and clapping continued until the sky began to lighten. I saw Abudi stand up, and as soon as he did, the drumming ceased; everyone turned to look at him, and his friends began to tease him in a rather boring manner.

等阿布弟往姑卡房间走去时，我开始非常紧张，心里不知怎的不舒服，想到姑卡哥哥对我说的话——“入洞房还得哭叫——”我觉得在外面等着的人包括我在内，都是混帐得可以了，奇怪的是藉口风俗就没有人改变它。

As Abudi walked toward Guka's room, I started to get very nervous, an uncomfortable feeling creeping into my heart. I remembered what Guka's brother had said—“you’ll have to cry out in the bridal chamber”—and I felt that everyone waiting outside, including myself, was utterly ridiculous. Strangely, no one changed it in the excuse of tradition.

阿布弟拉开布帘进去了很久，我一直垂着头坐在大厅里，不知过了几世纪，听见姑卡——“啊——”一声如哭泣似的叫声，然后就没有声息了。

Abudi pulled aside the curtain and entered the room for a long time. I sat in the hall with my head down, and after what felt like centuries, I heard Guka let out a cry, "Ah!" It sounded like a sob, and then there was silence.

虽然风俗要她叫，但是那声音叫得那么的痛，那么的真，那么的无助而幽长，我静静的坐着，眼眶开始润湿起来。

Although the customs required her to cry, that voice conveyed so much pain, so much truth, and so much helplessness. I sat quietly, my eyes began to moisten.

“想想看，她到底只是一个十岁的小孩子，残忍！”我愤怒的对荷西说。

"Just think, she’s only a ten-year-old child. How cruel!" I said angrily to Jose.

他仰头望着天花板，一句话也回答不出来。那天我们是唯一在场的两个外地人。

He stared up at the ceiling, unable to respond. That day, we were the only two outsiders present.

等到阿布弟拿着一块染着血迹的白布走出房来时，他的朋友们就开始呼叫起来，声音里形容不出的暧昧。

When Abudi emerged from the room, holding a piece of blood-stained cloth, his friends began to call out; their voices were indescribably suggestive.

在他们的观念里，结婚初夜只是公然用暴力去夺取一个小女孩的贞操而已。

In their view, the first night of marriage was simply a display of violence to take a little girl's virtue openly.

我对婚礼这样的结束觉得失望而可笑，我站起来没有向任何人告别就大步走出去。

I felt disappointed and amused by the way the wedding ended. I stood up without saying goodbye to anyone and walked out decisively.

婚礼的庆祝一共举行了六天，这六天内，每天下午五点开始便有客人去罕地家喝茶吃饭，同时唱歌击鼓到半夜。

The wedding celebrations lasted a total of six days. Every afternoon at five, guests would visit Guka's house for tea and food, singing and drumming until midnight.

因为他们的节目每天都是一个样子，所以我也不再去了，第五日罕地的另外一个小女孩来叫我，她说：“姑卡在找你，你怎么不来。”

Since their programs were the same every day, I stopped going. On the fifth day, another little girl from Guka's family came to find me; she said, "Guka is looking for you. Why didn’t you come?"

我只好换了衣服去看姑卡。

I had no choice but to change my clothes and go see Guka.

这六日的庆祝，姑卡照例被隔离在小房间里，客人一概不许看她，只有新郎可以出出进进。

During these six days of celebrations, Guka was kept isolated in a small room; guests were absolutely not allowed to see her, except for the groom who could come in and out.

我因为是外地人，所以去了姑卡家，不管三七二十一，拉开布帘进去。

As an outsider, I went to Guka's house, disregarding everything, and pulled aside the curtain to enter.

房内的光线很暗，空气非常混浊，姑卡坐在墙角内一堆毯子上。

The room was dimly lit and had a very stuffy atmosphere. Guka sat in the corner on a pile of blankets.

她看见我非常高兴，爬上来亲我的脸颊，同时说：“三毛，你不要走。”

When she saw me, she was very happy and climbed up to kiss my cheek, saying, "Sanmao, don’t go."

“我不走，我去拿东西来给你吃。”我跑出去抓了一大块肉进来给她啃。

"I'm not going; I'm just going to get something for you to eat." I rushed out and grabbed a large piece of meat to bring back for her to chew on.

“三毛，你想我这样很快会有小孩吗？”她轻轻的问我。

"Sanmao, do you think I’ll have a baby really soon like this?" she asked gently.

我不知怎么回答她，看见她过去胖胖的脸在五天之内瘦得眼眶都陷下去了，我心里一抽，呆呆的望着她。

I didn’t know how to answer her. Seeing her once-chubby face now gaunt after five days made my heart ache, and I stared at her in a daze.

“给我药好吗？那种吃了没有小孩的药？”她急急的低声请求我。

"Can you get me medicine? The kind that prevents babies?" she pleaded with me in a low voice.

我一直移不开自己的视线，定定的看着她十岁的脸。“好，我给你，不要担心，这是我们两个之间的秘密。”

I couldn't take my eyes off her ten-year-old face, "Alright, I’ll get it for you. Don’t worry, this will be our secret."

我轻轻拍着她的手背，“现在可以睡一下，婚礼已经过去了。”

I gently patted her hand and said, "You can take a nap now; the wedding is over."