沙漠中的饭店（2）

荷西下班回来一向是饿的，咬了一大口粉丝，“什么东西？好像是白色的毛线，又好像是塑胶的？”

José usually comes home from work very hungry. He took a big bite of the vermicelli and said, “What is this? It looks like white yarn, but it also seems like plastic?”

“都不是，是你钓鱼的那种尼龙线，中国人加工变成白白软软的了。”

“It’s neither. It’s the kind of nylon line you use for fishing, processed by Chinese people into this soft white stuff.”

他又吃了一口，莞尔一笑，口里说道：“怪名堂真多，如果我们真开饭店，这个菜可卖个好价钱，乖乖！”

He took another bite, smiled, and said, “There are really a lot of strange things. If we really opened a restaurant, this dish could sell for a good price, goodness!”

那天他吃了好多尼龙加工白线。

That day, he ate a lot of the processed white nylon line.

有一天他快下班了，我趁他忘了看猪肉干，赶快将藏好的猪肉干用剪刀剪成小小的方块，放在瓶子里，然后藏在毯子里面。

One day, as he was about to finish work, I quickly took advantage of his distraction and chopped up the hidden jerky into little square pieces with scissors, putting them in a jar and hiding it beneath the blanket.

恰好那天他鼻子不通，睡觉时要用毛毯，我一时里忘了我的宝贝，自在一旁看那第一千遍《水浒传》。

Coincidentally, that day, he had a stuffy nose and needed to use a wool blanket while sleeping. In the meantime, I had temporarily forgotten about my treasure and was leisurely reading “Water Margin” for the thousandth time.

他躺在床上，手里拿个瓶子，左看右看，我一抬头，哗，不得了，“所罗门王宝藏”被他发现了，赶快去抢，口里叫着：“这不是你吃的，是药，是中药。”

He was lying in bed holding the jar, looking left and right. I lifted my head and, oh no, he discovered the "Treasure of King Solomon." I rushed over to snatch it back, shouting, “This isn’t for you! It's medicine, Chinese medicine.”

“我鼻子不通，正好吃中药。”

“My nose is stuffy; this is just right for taking medicine.”

他早塞了一大把放在口中，我气极了，又不能叫他吐出来，只好不响了。

He had already stuffed a big handful in his mouth, and I was extremely angry. I couldn't make him spit it out, so I just went silent.

“怪甜的，是什么？”我没好气的回答他：“喉片，给咳嗽的人顺喉头的。”

“It’s quite sweet; what is it?” I answered him in annoyance, “Throat lozenges; they’re for coughing people to help with their throats.”

反正夫妇生活总是在吃饭，其他时间便是去忙着赚吃饭的钱，实在没多大意思。

Anyway, married life is mostly about eating. The rest of the time is spent busy making money for food, which honestly isn’t all that interesting.

有天我做了饭卷，就是日本人的“寿司”，用紫菜包饭，里面放些唯他肉松。

One day, I made sushi, using seaweed to wrap rice and adding some pork floss inside.

荷西这一下拒吃了。“什么，你居然给我吃印蓝纸，复写纸？”

José flatly refused to eat it. “What? You actually gave me imitation blue paper, carbon paper?”

我慢慢问他，“你真不吃？”“不吃，不吃。”

I slowly asked him, “Are you really not going to eat it?” “Nope, not eating.”

好，我大乐，吃了一大堆饭卷。

Alright, I was delighted and devoured a whole bunch of the sushi rolls.

“张开口来我看？”他命令我。

“Open your mouth; let me see!” He ordered me.

“你看，没有蓝色，我是用反面复写纸卷的，不会染到口里去。”

“Look, there’s no blue; I used the backside of the carbon paper to roll it, so it won’t stain my mouth.”

反正平日说的是唬人的话，所以常常胡说八道。

After all, we often say things that are pure nonsense.

“你是吹牛大王，虚虚实实，我真恨你，从实招来，是什么嘛？”

“You’re the king of bragging, all fluff and no substance. I really dislike you; just be honest—what is it?”

“你对中国完全不认识，我对我的先生相当失望。”

“You know nothing about China; I’m quite disappointed in you,” I replied while eating another sushi roll.

我回答他，又吃一个饭卷。

He got angry, picked up one with his chopsticks, wore a tragic expression as if he were a hero going to his doom, chewed for a long time, and swallowed.

他生气了，用筷子一夹夹了一个，面部大有壮士一去不复返的悲壮表情，咬了半天，吞下去。

“Ah, it’s seaweed.”

“是了，是海苔。”

I jumped up and shouted, “Right, right! So smart!”

我跳起来，大叫：“对了，对了，真聪明！”

I was about to jump again when he gave me a hefty smack on the head.

又要跳，头上吃了他一记老大爆栗。

As the Chinese food quickly ran out, I didn’t want to serve any dishes from my “Chinese restaurant” anymore, so Western dishes started coming to the table again.

中国东西快吃完了，我的“中国饭店”也舍不得出菜了，西菜又开始上桌。

José came home one day and, surprised yet pleased, saw me making steak. He exclaimed, “I want it medium rare. Did you fry the potatoes too?”

荷西下班来，看见我居然在做牛排，很意外，又高兴，大叫：“要半生的。马铃薯也炸了吗？”

After feeding him steak for three days straight, he seemed to have lost his appetite, cutting a piece but not eating it.

连给他吃了三天牛排，他却好似没有胃口，切一块就不吃了。

“Are you too tired from work? Do you want to take a nap and then eat?” Even the "yellow-faced woman" can sometimes be gentle.

“是不是工作太累了？要不要去睡一下再起来吃？”“黄脸婆”有时也温柔。

“It’s not being sick; it’s just that the food isn’t good.”

“不是生病，是吃得不好。”

Upon hearing that, I jumped up, alarmed. “Not good? Not good? Do you know how much steak costs per pound?”

我一听唬一下跳起来。“吃得不好？吃得不好？你知道牛排多少钱一斤？”

“No, dear, I’m just saying that if I want 'rain,' it’s better to eat the vegetables my mother sent.”

“不是的，太太，想吃‘雨’，还是岳母寄来的菜好。”

“Alright then, my Chinese restaurant opens twice a week. How long until you want the next ‘rain’?”

“好啦，中国饭店一星期开张两次，如何？你要多久下一次‘雨’？”

One day, José came back and told me, “Unbelievable! Today the big boss invited me over.”

有一天荷西回来对我说：“了不得，今天大老板叫我去。”

“Did he raise your salary?” My eyes lit up.

“加你薪水？”我眼睛一亮。

“No—” I grabbed him, my nails digging into his flesh.

“不是——”我一把抓住他，指甲掐到他肉里去。

“Not that? Oh no, did they fire you? My goodness, we—”

“不是？完了，你给开除了？天啊，我们——”

“Don’t grab me! You’re so neurotic. Listen, the big boss said everyone in the company has been to my house for dinner, except him and his wife. He’s waiting for you to invite him for Chinese food—”

“别抓我嘛，神经兮兮的，你听我讲，大老板说，我们公司谁都被请过到我家吃饭，就是他们夫妇不请，他在等你请他吃中国菜——”

“The big boss wants me to cook? No way, I won't do it. I’d be happy to invite my colleagues and workers, but inviting the boss for dinner is just too spineless. I’m a person of principle, you know, I—”

“大老板要我做菜？不干不干，不请他，请同事工友我都乐意，请上司吃饭未免太没骨气，我这个人啊，还谈些气节，你知道，我——”

Just as I was about to go on about the so-called principles of Chinese people, I couldn’t get my point across. Seeing José’s expression, I had to swallow my words!

我正要大大宣扬中国人的所谓骨气，又讲不明白，再一接触到荷西的面部表情，这个骨气只好梗在喉咙里啦！