背影

我与父亲不相见已二年余了，我最不能忘记的是他的背影。

I haven't seen my father for more than two years, and the most unforgettable thing is his silhouette.

那年冬天，祖母死了，父亲的差使也交卸了，正是祸不单行的日子。

That winter, my grandmother passed away, and my father's position was also relinquished; it was indeed a time of misfortunes.

我从北京到徐州，打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。到徐州见着父亲，看见满院狼藉的东西，又想起祖母，不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。

I traveled from Beijing to Xuzhou, planning to accompany my father back home to mourn. Upon arriving in Xuzhou and seeing my father amidst the chaotic state of the house, I couldn't help but shed tears as memories of my grandmother flooded back.

父亲说：“事已如此，不必难过，好在天无绝人之路！”回家变卖典质，父亲还了亏空；又借钱办了丧事。

My father said, "It's already this way, there's no need to be sad. Fortunately, there are still paths open for those in despair!" After returning home, my father sold collateral to pay off debts; he even borrowed money to arrange the funeral.

这些日子，家中光景很是惨澹，一半为了丧事，一半为了父亲赋闲。丧事完毕，父亲要到南京谋事，我也要回北京念书，我们便同行。

During those days, the family's situation was quite bleak, partly due to the funeral and partly because my father was out of work. Once the funeral was over, my father intended to seek employment in Nanjing, and I was also supposed to return to Beijing for my studies, so we decided to travel together.

到南京时，有朋友约去游逛，勾留了一日；第二日上午便须渡江到浦口，下午上车北去。

When we reached Nanjing, a friend invited us to wander about, which delayed us for a day; the next morning, we had to cross the river to Pukou and then head north by train in the afternoon.

父亲因为事忙，本已说定不送我，叫旅馆里一个熟识的茶房陪我同去。他再三嘱咐茶房，甚是仔细。

Due to being busy with matters, my father had originally planned not to see me off, asking a familiar tea house worker at the inn to accompany me instead. He repeatedly instructed the tea house worker in great detail.

但他终于不放心，怕茶房不妥帖；颇踌躇了一会。其实我那年已二十岁，北京已来往过两三次，是没有什么要紧的了。

Yet he was ultimately still worried, fearing the tea house worker would not be attentive enough; he hesitated for a while. After all, I was already twenty that year, and I had traveled back and forth to Beijing two or three times; it shouldn't be that serious.

他踌躇了一会，终于决定还是自己送我去。我再三劝他不必去；他只说：“不要紧，他们去不好！”

After hesitating for some time, he ultimately decided to see me off himself. I repeatedly urged him not to bother; he merely said, "It's alright, they won't do well!"

我们过了江，进了车站。我买票，他忙着照看行李。行李太多，得向脚夫行些小费才可过去。

We crossed the river and entered the train station. I bought the tickets while he busily took care of the luggage. There was too much luggage, and I had to give the porters some tips to get it through.

他便又忙着和他们讲价钱。我那时真是聪明过分，总觉他说话不大漂亮，非自己插嘴不可，但他终于讲定了价钱；就送我上车。

So, he was busy haggling with them over the price. At that time, I was overly clever and felt that his negotiation was inadequate, insisting on interrupting him; yet he finally settled on a price and sent me onto the train.

他给我拣定了靠车门的一张椅子；我将他给我做的紫毛大衣铺好座位。他嘱我路上小心，夜里要警醒些，不要受凉。

He chose a seat for me right by the door; I laid out the purple woolen overcoat he had prepared for me. He cautioned me to be careful on the journey, to stay alert at night, and to avoid catching a cold.

又嘱托茶房好好照应我。我心里暗笑他的迂；他们只认得钱，托他们只是白托！而且我这样大年纪的人，难道还不能料理自己么？我现在想想，我那时真是太聪明了。

He also entrusted the tea house worker to take good care of me. I secretly laughed at his naivety; they only recognized money, and relying on them was just empty reliance! Besides, at my age, couldn't I take care of myself? Looking back now, I realize I was indeed too clever.

我说道：“爸爸，你走吧。”他往车外看了看，说：“我买几个橘子去。你就在此地，不要走动。”

I said, "Dad, you should go." He looked out of the train and said, "I'll go buy a few oranges. You stay here and don't wander."

我看那边月台的栅栏外有几个卖东西的等着顾客。走到那边月台，须穿过铁道，须跳下去又爬上去。

I noticed a few sellers outside the railing on the platform waiting for customers. To get over there, I had to cross the tracks, which meant jumping down and climbing up again.

父亲是一个胖子，走过去自然要费事些。我本来要去的，他不肯，只好让他去。

My father was a plump man, so it naturally took him some effort to walk over. I originally intended to go, but he wouldn't allow it, so I had to let him go alone.

我看见他戴着黑布小帽，穿着黑布大马褂，深青布棉袍，蹒跚地走到铁道边，慢慢探身下去，尚不大难。

I watched him wearing a small black cloth cap, a black gauze gown, and a dark green cotton robe, stumbling toward the edge of the tracks, slowly leaning down to step down—still relatively easy.

可是他穿过铁道，要爬上那边月台，就不容易了。他用两手攀着上面，两脚再向上缩；他肥胖的身子向左微倾，显出努力的样子。

However, once he crossed the tracks and tried to climb up the other platform, it became more difficult. He grabbed onto the top with both hands and tried to hoist himself up with his feet; his bulky body tilted slightly to the left, showing his struggle.

这时我看见他的背影，我的泪很快地流下来了。我赶紧拭干了泪。怕他看见，也怕别人看见。

At that moment, I saw his silhouette, and tears quickly streamed down my face. I quickly wiped them away, fearing he would see me, and afraid others would too.

我再向外看时，他已抱了朱红的橘子往回走了。过铁道时，他先将橘子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。

When I looked out again, he had returned with bright red oranges in his arms. As he crossed the tracks, he first set the oranges down on the ground before slowly climbing down himself and then picking them up.

到这边时，我赶紧去搀他。他和我走到车上，将橘子一股脑儿放在我的皮大衣上。

When he reached my side, I quickly went to help him. He walked with me to the train and dumped the oranges onto my leather coat.

于是扑扑衣上的泥土，心里很轻松似的。过一会儿说：“我走了，到那边来信！”

He then patted off the dirt on my coat, seeming rather relieved. After a while, he said, "I'm leaving. Write to me when you get there!"

我望着他走出去。他走了几步，回过头看见我，说：“进去吧，里边没人。”

I watched him walk away. After he had taken a few steps, he turned back and saw me, saying, "Go inside; there's no one in there."

等他的背影混入来来往往的人里，再找不着了，我便进来坐下，我的眼泪又来了。

Once his back disappeared into the crowd, I took my seat; my tears came flowing again.

近几年来，父亲和我都是东奔西走，家中光景是一日不如一日。他少年出外谋生，独力支持，做了许多大事。

In recent years, both my father and I have been running around, and the family's situation became increasingly bleak. He left home to seek a living in his youth, single-handedly supporting and accomplishing many significant things.

哪知老境却如此颓唐！他触目伤怀，自然情不能自已。情郁于中，自然要发之于外；家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。

How could he have imagined that old age would be so disheartening! The sight of it wounded his heart, naturally making him unable to contain his feelings. Emotions bottled up inside him had to find an outlet; trivial matters at home often triggered his anger.

他待我渐渐不同往日。但最近两年不见，他终于忘却我的不好，只是惦记着我，惦记着我的儿子。

He gradually treated me differently than before. But after not seeing each other for the last two years, he eventually forgot my shortcomings and only thought about me, thinking about my son.

我北来后，他写了一信给我，信中说道：“我身体平安，惟膀子疼痛厉害，举箸提笔，诸多不便，大约大去之不远矣。”

After I returned north, he wrote to me, mentioning in the letter, "I am in good health, but my shoulder pain is quite severe, and it’s inconvenient for me to eat and write. I may not have much time left."

我读到此处，在晶莹的泪光中，又看见那肥胖的、青布棉袍黑布马褂的背影。唉！我不知何时再能与他相见！

As I read this, through the glistening tears, I saw that plump figure in the dark green cotton robe and black gauze gown. Alas! I do not know when I will be able to see him again!