乡村舞会（4）

她丈夫连忙说：“胡说，我又没打她，又没骂她的，又没拿绳子拴她，她要去就去嘛。”

Her husband quickly said, "Nonsense, I haven’t hit her, I haven’t scolded her, and I haven’t tied her up with a rope. If she wants to go, let her go."

他是回族人，会说汉话的。

He was from the Hui ethnic group and could speak Chinese.

虽然这样说了，比加玛丽还是一副心甘情愿的受气样，垂着头，有一针没一针地戳着毛衣。真是急死人了。

Even so, Bima Li still looked like she was willingly suffering, with her head down, poking at her sweater absentmindedly. It was really infuriating.

我又冲她丈夫嚷嚷：“你看，你平时肯定厉害得很吧？要不然人家怎么怕成这样！”

I shouted at her husband again, "Look at you, you must be really tough at home, right? Otherwise, why would she be so scared of you!"

“谁说的，我又没打她，又没骂她……”

"Who says? I haven’t hit her, I haven’t scolded her..."

“谁知道你们俩的事情，你打了她，骂了她，还会和我说吗？”

"Who knows about the matters between you two? If you hit her or scolded her, would you still tell me?"

“哪有什么事情，我又没打她，又没骂她……”

"What matters? I haven’t hit her, I haven’t scolded her..."

“那她为什么怕你？”

"Then why is she afraid of you?"

“她怕我吗？我看她才不怕呢！”

"Is she afraid of me? I don’t think she’s afraid at all!"

比加玛丽连忙说：“好了好了，我不去了，不去了……”

Bima Li hurriedly said, "Alright, alright, I won’t go, I won’t go..."

那怎么能行？真是没道理！我说：“玛丽，你别理他，今天有我在呢，你就别怕了！”

How could that be? It was really unreasonable! I said, "Mali, don’t listen to him, I'm here today, so you don't have to be afraid!"

又扭过头去：“你看，这回还有什么可说的！真是太坏了你！就知道欺负老婆。人家明明想去嘛，干吗要吓唬人？！真是太过分了你！不就是跳个舞嘛！什么意思嘛你？不服你也去跳呀？哼，平时我还觉得你挺好的，想不到你原来是这样的人……”

I turned around again, "Look, what else can you say now? You’re really too mean! Always bullying your wife. She clearly wants to go, why scare her?! You’re really going too far! It’s just dancing! What’s the big deal? If you don’t agree, go dance too! Hmph, I used to think you were pretty good, but I didn’t expect you to be this kind of person..."

当我说到“……每次你在我们家商店买鸡蛋，我们给得那么便宜……”时，他终于被我烦死了：“好吧好吧，去吧去吧……赶快去！给我早点回来！”

When I said, "...every time you buy eggs from our store, we give them to you so cheap..." he finally got fed up with me: "Alright, alright, go then... quickly! Come back early!"

比加玛丽大喜，但还是试探似的，小心翼翼地说：“真的？”

Bima Li was overjoyed, but still cautiously asked, "Really?"

“我保证！就一个小时！一个小时就把人给你带回来！”

"I promise! Just one hour! I’ll bring you back in one hour!"

我连忙推着比加玛丽往外走：“哎呀走吧！没事，有事你来找我，我帮你收拾他……”

I quickly pushed Bima Li out: "Come on! It’s fine. If there’s anything, you come looking for me, I’ll help you deal with him..."

“我还没换衣服！”

"I haven’t changed my clothes yet!"

等比加玛丽仔仔细细换了衣服，梳了头发，足足半个小时过去了。

After Bima Li carefully changed her clothes and fixed her hair, half an hour had already passed.

路过另一个回族小媳妇霞霞家时，她又要求把霞霞也叫上。

As we passed another Hui woman, Xiaxia's home, she wanted to invite Xiaxia too.

可恨的是，这个霞霞也是个怕老公的角色。

Unfortunately, this Xiaxia was also someone who was afraid of her husband.

于是等霞霞也被成功营救出来时，已经快要凌晨两点了。我心急如焚。

So by the time Xiaxia was successfully rescued, it was nearly two in the morning. I was anxious.

我们在村子里黑暗的土路上深一脚浅一脚往拖依上赶。

We hurried along the dark dirt roads of the village towards the wedding dance.

远远地听到电子琴声了，心中忍不住一下子膨胀开来，身体一下子轻盈了。

From afar, I could hear the sound of an electronic keyboard, and my heart couldn't help but swell with joy, feeling light as a feather.

我紧走几步，来到举办拖依的那家院墙边，踮足趴在墙上往院子里看，一眼看到麦西拉正站在房子台阶旁支着的电子琴边，微笑着弹琴，所有的光都照在他的面孔上。

I hurried a few steps and arrived at the wall of the house hosting the wedding dance, tiptoeing to peek into the courtyard, and I saw Maisila standing next to the electronic keyboard on the steps, smiling while playing, all the light shining on his face.

乡村女歌手尖锐明亮的嗓音一路传向上面黑暗的夜空里。我抬头眩目地看着。

The sharp, bright voice of the village singer was carried up into the dark night sky. I looked up, dazzled.

身边的比加玛丽和霞霞已经闪进舞池，活泼矫健地展开了双臂。

Bima Li and Xiaxia had already dashed into the dance floor, energetically opening their arms.

有人走到我面前伸出手来，我不得不接受。我迈出第一步。

Someone walked up to me and extended a hand, and I had no choice but to accept it. I took the first step.

这一步一迈出去，才知道今夜还早着呢，一切都没有开始。

As soon as I stepped out, I realized it was still early, and everything had not yet begun.

……好了，又是一个快乐的夜晚。

…Alright, another joyful night.

一个小时怎么能够呢？回去的事情我才不管呢，比加玛丽两口子爱怎么闹就怎么闹去吧。

How could one hour be enough? I wouldn’t care about going back; let Bima Li and her husband do as they pleased.

秋天最后几个阳光灿烂的日子里，我哪儿也不想去。

In these last few sunny days of autumn, I didn't want to go anywhere.

深深地坐在店里的缝纫机后面，一针一线地干活。

I sat deeply behind the sewing machine in the shop, working stitch by stitch.

但是抬头望向窗外的时候，那一汪蓝天蓝得令人心碎。

But when I looked up at the view outside the window, that expanse of blue sky was heartbreakingly beautiful.

忍不住放下衣料，把针别在衣襟上，锁上店门出去了。

Unable to resist, I put down the fabric, stuck the needle in my collar, locked the shop door, and went out.

我在村子里的小路上慢慢地走。

I slowly walked along the small path in the village.

虽然这个季节是喀吾图人最多的时候，羊群也全下山了。

Although this season was when the most Kawat people were around and the sheep were all down from the mountains,

但此时看来，喀吾图白天里的情景与往日似乎没什么不同。

it seemed that the daytime scene in Kawat had not changed much from the past.

路上空空荡荡，路两边家家户户院落紧锁，院墙低矮。

The road was empty, with homes on both sides having their courtyards tightly locked and the walls low.

有时候会看到有小小的孩子在院墙里“伊伊吾吾”地爬着玩。

Sometimes I would see little children climbing in the courtyards, playing and chattering.

我知道，秋天里的喀吾图，欢乐全在夜晚……

I knew that in the autumn of Kawat, all the joy resided in the night...

绕过一片墓地，渐渐地快要走到村头的水渠边了。

I bypassed a cemetery and gradually approached the water channel at the village edge.

这一带，院落零乱了起来，高高低低地随着小坡的走势而起伏。

In this area, the courtyards became irregular, rising and falling with the slope.

更远的地方是零零碎碎的一些空地，没有树。

Further out were some scattered open spaces, devoid of trees.

有一个男孩正在那里和泥巴翻土坯。

There was a boy there, making mud bricks.

那块空地上都快给敦敦厚厚的土坯块铺满了。

The vacant lot was almost covered with thick mud bricks.

这些土坯晒干后，就可以盖房子了。

After these bricks dried, they could be used to build houses.

但是，谁家会在这种时候盖房子呢？

But who would build a house at this time?

秋天都快过去了，一天比一天冷。

Autumn was almost over, and it was getting colder by the day.

这个男孩发现我在注视他后，一下子有些不好意思似的。

When the boy noticed me watching him, he seemed a bit shy all of a sudden.

本来干得利索又欢快的，这会儿磨蹭起来，有一下没一下地用铁锹搅着和好的泥巴，等着我赶快走开。

He had been working quickly and happily, but now he slowed down, stirring the mixed mud with a shovel, waiting for me to go away.

我认识他，他是胖医生巴定的小儿子哈布德哈兰，还在上初中呢。

I recognized him; he was Habudeharlan, the son of the chubby doctor Bading, still in middle school.

他打着赤臂，脊背又黑又亮。估计是在打零工赚钱。

He was bare-armed, with a dark, shiny back. He was probably working part-time to earn some money.

我偏不走。我站在那里，东看看，西看看，和他没话找话说。

I wasn't leaving. I stood there, looking around, trying to strike up a conversation.

“干吗呢？盖房子啦？娶媳妇啦？”

"What are you doing? Building a house? Getting married?"

他汉话不太利索：“没有没有，娶媳妇不是的。垒围墙嘛，你看，墙垮了……”

His Chinese wasn't too fluent, "No, no, it's not getting married. It's to build a wall, look, the wall fell down..."

他飞快地指了一下前面。我还没看清楚，他就缩回手去了。继续心慌意乱地搅他的泥巴。

He quickly pointed ahead. Before I could see clearly, he retracted his hand and continued anxiously mixing his mud.

他脸上全是泥巴粒，裤子上都结了一层发白的泥壳子。

His face was covered with mud particles, and his pants had a layer of dried white mud crust.

我笑嘻嘻地走了，越想越好笑。这小子上次在我家店里赊了一包五毛钱的虾条，都两个月了。

I laughed and walked away, finding it more amusing the more I thought about it. This kid still owed me a pack of prawn chips he borrowed for fifty cents two months ago.

算了，不让他还了。

Forget it, I won't make him pay back.

我走到土路尽头的高地，拐了个弯儿，准备从另一条路上绕回去。

I walked to the high ground at the end of the dirt road, turned a corner, and prepared to take another road back.

前面再走下去，就是戈壁滩和旱地了。

If I continued ahead, it would lead to the Gobi Desert and dry land.

水渠在身边哗啦啦流淌着，水清流澈而急湍。我沿水渠走了一会儿，上了一架独木桥。

The water channel babbled beside me, clear and rushing. I walked along it for a while and crossed a log bridge.

然而一抬头，就看到了麦西拉。

However, as soon as I looked up, I saw Maisila.

他也在翻土块。他正在水渠对面不远处的空地上，弯着腰端起沉重的装满泥浆的木模子，然后紧走几步，猛地翻过来，端正地扣在平地上，再稳稳揭开，扣出来的泥坯整整齐齐。

He was also turning over the soil. He was in an empty plot not far across the water channel, bending down to lift a heavy wooden mold filled with mud, then striding a few steps and quickly flipping it over onto the flat ground, a neat brick neatly revealed as he carefully lifted off the mold.

他的侧面还是那么漂亮，头发有些乱了，由于正在干脏活，穿了件又脏又破的衣服。

His profile was still so handsome, with slightly messy hair, wearing a dirty and torn shirt because he was doing such rough work.

我一下子不知该怎么办才好。总不能像和哈布德哈兰开玩笑一样也来一句“干吗呢？盖房子啦？娶媳妇啦”吧？

I was at a loss for what to do. I couldn't just joke like I did with Habudeharlan and say, "What are you doing? Building a house? Getting married?"

幸好他干得很认真，没有注意到我来了。

Fortunately, he was very focused on his work and didn’t notice me come.

我怔了一下，赶紧转个身，顺原路快快地走掉了。

I froze for a moment, then quickly turned and hurried back the way I came.

我为什么总是那么的骄傲呢？我不愿意如此悠悠闲闲、衣着整洁地见到浑身泥浆的麦西拉，正如那晚我不愿意邋里邋遢地面对他一样。

Why do I always have to be so proud? I didn’t want to see muddy Maisila in my tidy clothes, just like that night I didn’t want to face him looking disheveled.

我连自己都不能明白，就更不能明白别人了……

I couldn’t understand myself, let alone understand others...

麦西拉就像个国王一样。

Maisila was like a king.

他高大、漂亮，有一颗柔和清静的心，还有一双艺术的手——这双手此时正有力地握着铁锹把子。

He was tall, handsome, with a gentle and calm heart, as well as artistic hands—hands that were currently gripping the shovel handle with strength.

但是我知道，它拨动过的琴弦，曾如何一声一声进入世界隐蔽的角落，进入另一个年轻人的心中……

But I knew how his plucked strings had once resonated into the hidden corners of the world, reaching the heart of another young man...

我真庆幸，有一些话，自己到底还是没有说出来。

I was truly grateful that there were some words I still hadn’t said and hadn’t let him know...

以后，我会爱上别的人的，年轻岁月如此漫长……

I thought again that Maisila’s bride should be a tall and beautiful Kazakh girl.

想到这个才稍微高兴了一点。

After she had three children, her weight would surpass two hundred pounds, steady whether standing or sitting.

要不然又能怎么办呢？

She would have calm eyes, dressed in a long skirt, draped with a woolen shawl.

当我已经知道了梦想的不可能之处时——不仅仅因为我是汉族姑娘，不仅仅因为我和麦西拉完全不一样……

She would bend over to walk out of the yurt, heading to the lush, vast summer pasture.

其实我什么也不知道，什么也不能明白。

Carrying a small bucket for milking and a stool, she would go toward the cattle corral not far from the yurt enclosed with wooden railings...

幸好，从头到尾我什么也没有说出来过，什么也不曾让他知道……

Anyone who witnessed this scene would feel as if they had received blessings, filled with joy and gratitude.

我又想，麦西拉的新娘子，应该是一个又高又美的哈族女子。

Thinking of those things passed down through generations, which still haven’t ended to this day... I too have not ended.

当她生过三个孩子之后，体重就会超过两百斤，无论是站是坐都稳稳当当。

In fact, I haven’t even started yet!

她目光平静，穿着长裙，披着羊毛大方巾。

The way home was empty and quiet.

她弯腰走出毡房，走到碧绿辽远的夏牧场上。

On the road, I ran into little Kulan—right, Kulan turned out to be a girl!

拎着挤奶的小桶和板凳，走向毡房不远处用木头栏杆围起来的牛圈……

Her hair had slowly grown out (all the kids here have their heads shaved clean during the summer), now only about an inch long, fine and soft, a mix of light gold and chestnut colors.

所有看到这一幕情景的人，都会如同受到恩惠一般，满心又是欢喜又是感激。

Her face, now sun-kissed on the summer pasture, had lightened a bit.

想起世世代代流传下的那些事情，到了今天仍没有结束……我也没有结束。

As soon as she saw me, she stopped, standing in the middle of the road, covering her toothless mouth and smiling at me.

甚至我还没有开始呢！

I watched this radiant, beautiful child from afar, then looked up at the sky, watching bright golden leaves swirling and falling from the blue sky...

回去的路空荡又安静。

This beautiful autumn, this dancing season.

路上我又碰到了小库兰——对了，库兰原来是个女孩子呢！

And thinking about tonight's wedding dance, sigh, how could there be no hope?

她的头发慢慢长出来了（我们这里的小孩子到了夏天都剃光头的），只有一寸多长，又细又软，淡淡的金色和浅栗色掺杂着。

After parting ways with Kulan, there was no one else on the way back, and I truly wanted to dance my way home.

在夏牧场上晒黑的脸现在捂白了一些。

她一看到我就站住了，站在马路中央，捂着缺牙的嘴冲我笑。

我远远地看着这个浑身灿烂的美丽小孩，又抬头看天，看鲜艳的金色落叶从蓝天上旋转着飘落……

这美丽的秋天，这跳舞的季节。

又想到今夜的拖依，哎，怎能没有希望？

和库兰分别后的一路上就再没有人了，我真想跳着舞回去。