喀吾图的永远之处（1）

我第一次去喀吾图时，似乎整个世界都在阻止我的到来——电闪雷鸣，狂风大作。后来暴雨倾盆直下。

The first time I went to Kawat, it seemed that the whole world was trying to stop me from arriving—lightning flashed, thunder rumbled, and a fierce wind howled. Later, heavy rain poured down.

路边十多米高的白杨林带剧烈撼动，一路呼喊着：“不——不！！……啊不……分钱……”

The poplar grove by the roadside, over ten meters high, swayed violently, shouting all the way: “No—no!!… Oh no… splitting the money…”

我和十来个不认识的哈萨克老乡挤在一辆破得快要散架的十座老北京吉普里，被颠得昏天暗地。

I was crammed into a rickety ten-seater Beijing Jeep with a dozen unfamiliar Kazakh villagers, bouncing so much I felt dizzy.

吉普车像喝醉酒了似的在暴雨中扭动着，摇摇晃晃前进。急雨夹着冰雹砸在窗玻璃上，又像是已经穿过玻璃砸进了车厢里。

The Jeep twisted like it was drunk, lurching forward in the torrential rain. The heavy rain mixed with hail pounded on the windows, as if it had already broken through the glass and crashed into the cabin.

车开一阵，停一阵，毫无目标一般在茫茫戈壁上慢慢爬行。我不知道喀吾图竟然会那么远，那么荒僻。我不愿意去，整个世界也不愿意我去。

The vehicle moved for a while, then stopped, creeping aimlessly across the vast Gobi. I had no idea Kawat would be so far and so remote. I didn’t want to go, and the whole world seemed to conspire against me.

一路上我们的车坏了又坏。我们下车，等待司机用千斤顶把汽车底盘顶起来。我不想去，什么都在阻止我。

Along the way, our vehicle broke down repeatedly. We got out and waited for the driver to lift the car's chassis with a jack. I didn’t want to go; everything was stopping me.

车又坏了。我站在路边，看到戈壁丘陵四面动荡。我浑身湿透。我走上附近一处高地，踮足远望。

The car broke down again. Standing by the roadside, I saw the hills of the Gobi stirring all around. I was soaked through. I walked up to a nearby high ground and stood on tiptoe to look far away.

我家在喀吾图开了个小店，整天和各种各样的顾客打交道，但能记住的人很少很少。

My family opened a small shop in Kawat, dealing with all kinds of customers daily, but very few of them I could remember.

我妈却全都记得住，不到半年，她似乎同所有人都熟识了。

However, my mother could remember them all. After less than six months, she seemed to know everyone well.

我们交谈时，若是提到了谁谁谁——

When we talked and mentioned someone—

“……就是那个帽子特别多的人，不停地换着戴……”

“…the one with lots of hats, always changing them…”

“瓦兹别克？”

“Wasibek?”

“他媳妇会抽烟的那个……”

“The one whose wife smokes…”

“吐马罕？”

“Turmakhan?”

“上次拖依（宴会）上，还和你跳舞了……”

“The last time at the wedding, he danced with you…”

“噢，那肯定就是巴登别克了。”

“Oh, it must be Badenbek then.”

没办法，我觉得大家的名字太难记了，脸也都长得一样……喀吾图的日子如此平静，日复一日，永远也不会有什么意外发生似的，什么都没法清晰地记住。

I couldn’t help it; I found everyone’s names too hard to remember, and their faces all looked alike… Life in Kawat was so peaceful, day after day, it seemed that nothing unexpected would ever happen, making it impossible to remember anything clearly.

大约我的心不在这里吧。我整天坐在深暗的柜台后面，等着有人来店里买东西。等着他们掀开厚重的棉门帘，逆光走进来。

Perhaps my heart wasn’t in this place. I spent the whole day sitting behind a dark counter, waiting for someone to come into the shop to buy something. Waiting for them to lift the heavy cotton curtain and walk in against the light.

进来的人一般都不说话，我也不说话。但有些人能在柜台前一站一个小时、两个小时、三个小时地不说话，我就做不到了。

Usually, the people who came in didn’t say a word, and I didn’t speak either. But some could stand at the counter for an hour, two hours, or three hours without saying anything; I just couldn’t manage that.

终于我忍不住问：“有事吗？”

Finally, I couldn’t help but ask, “Do you need something?”

他不吭声。我就给他抓把瓜子，他接过来咔吧咔吧就吃。吃完了又闭嘴站那儿发呆。

He remained silent. I grabbed a handful of sunflower seeds for him, and he took them and started munching. After finishing, he just stood there, dazed.

我再给他一个苹果，他几口咬完了，继续沉默。他有的是时间。

I gave him an apple; he ate it in a few bites and continued to be silent. He had all the time in the world.

最后我拿出锁对他晃晃，表示关门了。他这才离开。我锁上门，去河边散步，很久后才回家。

Eventually, I took out the lock and shook it in front of him, signaling that I was closing. Only then did he leave. I locked the door and went for a walk by the river, returning home long afterward.

到家时那人居然还在门边守着。我只好打开门让他进去。他继续靠着柜台，盯着货架上某个角落深深地打量。

When I got home, that person was surprisingly still waiting by the door. I had no choice but to open it and let him in. He leaned against the counter again, staring deeply at a corner of the shelf.

真不知道这人哪来那么多时间，这么闲。令人羡慕。

I really didn’t know how he found so much time to just sit around like that. How enviable.

喀吾图的小孩子们则都很忙，忙着上学。不上学的时候忙着偷家里的鸡蛋。上学和偷鸡蛋之外的时间就更忙了，忙着兜了鸡蛋到我们家商店卖。

The children in Kawat, on the other hand, were very busy, busy with school. When not in school, they were busy stealing eggs from home. Outside of school and stealing eggs, they were even busier trading the eggs at our shop.

他们一个个气喘吁吁，脸蛋通红，目光兴奋。

One by one, they panted, their faces flushed and their eyes excited.

鸡蛋三毛钱一个，每次我收下鸡蛋付钱的时候总会竭力劝说他们顺便买点泡泡糖或小饼干。但是这些小孩子太聪明了，都不理我。

Eggs cost three jiao each, and every time I took their eggs and paid, I made every effort to persuade them to buy some bubble gum or cookies. But these kids were too smart; they ignored me.

我实在不明白他们小小年龄攒钱干什么。也想不出在喀吾图，除了泡泡糖和小饼干，还有别的什么东西更招小孩喜欢。

I truly didn’t understand what they were saving for at such a young age. I couldn’t think of anything aside from bubble gum and cookies that kids in Kawat would like even more.

其中，库娜是最持之以恒的一个。连续半年时间里，她每天按时送一个蛋来。如果有一天没来，那么隔天定会一下子送来两个。

Among them, Kuna was the most persistent one. For six months, she came regularly every day with one egg. If she missed a day, you could be sure she would bring two the next.

我开始一直以为库娜是个男孩，直到她头发长出来了才知道是个女的。

I always thought Kuna was a boy until her hair grew out, and then I realized she was a girl.

她以前是小光头，再加上手里总拿着鸡蛋，两相衬映，老是惹得我取笑她。

She used to be a little bald with a shiny head, and holding the egg only emphasized my teasing of her.

还有一个孩子，总是跟着卖蛋的孩子们一起来，却从没见他带来过一只蛋。我给其他孩子付钱时，他就在旁边紧紧盯着看。

There was another child who always followed the egg-selling kids but never brought an egg himself. When I paid the other kids, he would be there watching intently.

终于有一天，这个孩子也带来了一只蛋。是他一个人来的，把蛋递过来时紧张万分，惴惴不安地等着我给钱。

Finally, one day, he brought an egg all by himself. He handed it over, looking extremely nervous, anxiously waiting for me to pay him.

我拿着蛋摇了又摇，对着太阳看了又看，总觉得哪儿有点儿不对劲。但最后还是给了钱。

I shook the egg in my hand and looked at it under the sun, feeling that something was off. But in the end, I still paid him.

等他拿着钱跑了以后，我把蛋磕开一看——

When he ran off with the money, I cracked the egg open to check—

居然是只煮熟的蛋。

It turned out to be a boiled egg.

一定是他的妈妈煮给他的，舍不得吃，便拿来换钱……

His mother must have boiled it for him, unwilling to eat it, so he brought it to trade for money…

真是气坏了！但又毫无办法，只好把它剥了吃了。

I was incredibly annoyed! But I couldn’t do anything about it and had to peel it and eat it.

在喀吾图，我学会的第一个哈萨克语单词就是“鸡蛋”。

In Kawat, the first Kazakh word I learned was “egg.”

除了这些孩子和闲人，我们家店里就很少再来别的什么人了。

Besides those kids and the idle people, very few others came to our shop.

在喀吾图做生意，像是在火星上做生意。

Doing business in Kawat felt like doing business on Mars.

我成天窝在柜台底下的糖堆里睡觉，睡醒了就搬把椅子坐到门口晒太阳。太阳渐渐偏西，房屋的阴影从后面慢慢覆扫过来。

I spent my days napping among the piles of candy underneath the counter; when I woke up, I’d move a chair to the door to bask in the sun. As the sun gradually moved westward, the shadows of the buildings slowly swept over me from behind.

阳光移一寸，我就挪一下椅子。

Every inch the sun moved, I shifted my chair a little.

好不容易到了下午，总算来了一个顾客，连忙跳起来问他要什么。可是……他要“过油肉拌面”。

After a long wait, one customer finally arrived in the afternoon, and I jumped up eagerly to ask what he wanted. But… he wanted “braised meat with noodles.”

我告诉他这是商店，然后把吐滚家的馆子指给他。

I told him this was a shop and pointed him to the Duyun family restaurant.

但是吐滚家馆子因为生意太冷清，早就关门一个多月了。于是不一会儿，这人又回来找我要“过油肉拌面”。

However, the Duyun family’s restaurant had long closed due to poor business for over a month. So soon, he returned asking me for “braised meat with noodles” again.

我只好把沙力家院子指给他。沙力家没有开饭馆，但他家养了一条特别厉害的大狗。于是这人再也不来找我了。

I had to direct him to Shali’s courtyard. Shali didn’t run a restaurant, but he had a particularly fierce dog. So that customer never came back to find me again.

村里的马路上干干净净，两边是茂密的柳树和杨树，树下流水淙淙。

The road in the village was clean, flanked by dense willow and poplar trees, with streams trickling underneath them.

没有一个人。只有一只高大的鹤，不时地从马路这头走到那头，再从那头走到这头。

There was not a single person. Only a tall crane occasionally walked from one end of the road to the other, then back again.

不过我说的是夏天，春天和秋天就完全不一样了。

But I’m talking about summer; spring and autumn were completely different.

牧民逐水草而居，上山下山的转场途中都会经过喀吾图。那段时间里，几乎每天都有羊群穿过村子西去东往，尘土高腾。

The herders moved according to the water and grass, passing through Kawat during their seasonal migrations up and down the mountains. During that time, there were almost daily flocks of sheep crossing the village from west to east, raising clouds of dust.

天气热的日子里，羊群走过的柏油路总是被踩得稀烂一片。

On hot days, the asphalt road trampled by the sheep would be turned to mush.

到了那时，小杂货店每天一大早就挤满了人，积压了一百年的商品都有办法卖出去，无论卖什么都有人要。

At that time, the little grocery store would be packed with people first thing in the morning, and commodities that had been sitting for a hundred years could sell out easily; anything could find a buyer.

若是顾客要的东西偏你又没有，则无论用别的什么都可以搪塞过去。

If a customer wanted something you didn’t have, you could offer them anything else as a substitute.