属于我的马

有一个人欠了我家很多钱，现在却死了。

There was a man who owed my family a lot of money, and now he has died.

按当地穆斯林的礼性，不还清生前的债务是不可入葬的。

According to local Muslim customs, one cannot be buried unless all debts incurred during their lifetime are settled.

葬礼上，阿訇会询问死者亲属：“此人生前亏欠过别人的财物吗？”得到否定的回答后才会继续为死者念经。

At the funeral, the imam asks the deceased’s relatives, "Did this person owe money to anyone?" Only after receiving a negative reply would he continue to recite prayers for the deceased.

但他的家人实在拿不出钱来偿还，情急之下，只好把自家的一匹马牵来见我妈，要求抵债。

But his family truly couldn’t come up with the money to pay back the debt, and in a moment of desperation, they led a horse from their home to show to my mother, requesting it as payment.

我妈很为难，打电话同我商量该怎么办。

My mother was in a difficult position and called me to discuss what to do.

她说：“你说我要马做什么呢？”

She said, "What do you want with a horse?"

我说：“自己留着骑呗。”

I replied, "You can keep it to ride."

她说：“家里有摩托车，哪里用得着骑马！”

She said, "We have a motorcycle; there’s no need for a horse!"

我说：“那就不要呗。”

I said, "Then don’t take it."

她说：“可是我又很想要……”

She replied, "But I really want it..."

我说：“你要它做什么？”

I asked, "What do you want it for?"

她说：“自己留着骑呗。”

She said, "To keep it for riding."

到了下午，她又兴冲冲打来电话：“娟儿啊，我决定了，我要把那马留下来，我要把它送给你！下礼拜我给你牵到阿勒泰市去啊？”

In the afternoon, she called me excitedly: "Jianer, I’ve decided! I want to keep that horse and give it to you! I’ll bring it to Altay City next week!"

我吓一大跳：“我要它做什么？”

I was shocked: "What do I want it for?"

“可以骑着去上班啊，你们单位那么远的。”

"You can ride it to work; your office is so far away."

“骑自行车就可以了。”

"Riding a bicycle is fine."

“自行车还得去蹬它。马多好啊，一点儿力气也不必费。到了单位就放在你们地委大院里，让它自己去找草吃。回到家就拴在后院的大柳树上，河边草也多……”

"A bicycle still requires pedaling! A horse is great; it takes no effort. When you get to the office, just let it stay in your party committee's courtyard to graze. When you come home, tie it to the big poplar tree in the backyard; there’s plenty of grass by the river..."

我大汗：“可是，它认识红绿灯吗？”

I broke into a sweat: "But does it know about traffic lights?"

挂上电话后我又仔细想了想，别说阿勒泰市里了，就算是在阿克哈拉村，我家也无法养马的。

After hanging up, I thought about it carefully. Not to mention Altay City, even in Akhahara village, we couldn’t take care of a horse.

首先我们草料不多，眼下这些全是给鸡鸭过冬准备的，可能鸡鸭还不够呢，哪还能顾得上马？

First of all, we don’t have much feed; what we have is all saved for the chickens and ducks to survive the winter. We might not even have enough for them, let alone a horse.

到了冬天，草料就贵得要死，哪里买得起啊？而冬天又那么漫长，整整半年。

When winter comes, feed gets incredibly expensive. How could we afford it? And winter lasts so long, a full six months.

再说，阿克哈拉我家的院子又不大，杂七杂八堆满了东西，哪里还有地方拴马？

Moreover, our yard in Akhahara isn’t big; it’s overcrowded with all sorts of stuff. Where would we even tie a horse?

我估计，马牵回家后，处理它的唯一方法大约就是宰掉吃肉……

I estimated that if the horse came home, the only solution would probably be to slaughter it for meat...

呜呼！如果养马只是为了吃肉，生活该索然无味到什么地步？

Alas! If raising a horse meant only eating it, how monotonous life would be!

其实就在两年前，妈妈还一心想买匹马的。那时家里还没有挖井，用水得去两公里外的乌伦古河边挑回家。

Two years ago, my mother was still eager to buy a horse. At that time, we didn’t have a well, so we had to haul water from the Ulungur River two kilometers away.

夏天还好，到了冬天，河面冻成了厚厚的坚冰，去挑水除了扛扁担，还得扛斧头。每天去挑水，每天都得破冰。头一天破开的冰窟窿一夜之间重新冻得结结实实。

It was alright in summer, but in winter, the river froze into a thick layer of ice. Besides carrying the yoke, you also had to carry an axe. Every day we had to break the ice to get water. The hole you made the day before would freeze solid overnight.

而且冬天的阿克哈拉那么的冷，一二月间，动辄零下三四十度。

And it was so cold in Akhahara in winter, usually minus thirty or forty degrees in January and February.

河边的风更是凛冽如刀。一路上积雪及膝，白茫茫的原野一望无际，没有一行脚印。

The wind by the river was especially biting. The snow piled up to my knees, and the vast white wilderness was endless, without a single footprint.

我妈想，如果没有马，有一只小毛驴也好啊。

My mom thought, if only we had a horse or a small donkey, it would be good.

套牲口拉水的话，拉一趟就管够三四天的用量，既不费人力，又省了麻烦。

Using animals to haul water, one trip would be enough for three or four days, saving labor and trouble.

那一年的夏天非常炎热，一到下午，村里马路上就不见人影了。

That summer was sweltering, and by afternoon the village roads were deserted.

太阳明晃晃的，野地草丛中，蚊虫像浓重的烟雾一样，在低处翻涌鼓荡。

The sun was glaring, and in the grass and shrubbery, mosquitoes swirled like dense smoke.

可是，为了给将来的家庭成员马或者小毛驴准备过冬的草料，一家人仍然要出去拔草，那个罪受的！

But to prepare feed for a potential horse or donkey for the coming winter, the whole family still had to go out to gather grass, what a suffering!

那一年的夏天倒是攒了不少干草，打碎后装了好几麻袋，可这点草也不管用啊。

That summer, we managed to collect quite a bit of dry hay, bagging it into several sacks, but this amount was still useless.

马最终没能养成。我们决定在院子挖一口井。

Eventually, we couldn’t raise a horse. We decided to dig a well in the yard.

由于冬天水位线低，我们便在冬天挖。

Since the water level was low in winter, we dug in winter.

在大地上打出一个深深的洞，然后遇见水，这真是神奇的事情。

We created a deep hole in the ground until we hit water; it was truly a miraculous event.

一个人在井底用短锹掘土，另一个人在地面上把土一桶一桶吊上来。

One person dug at the bottom of the well with a short shovel, while another on the surface hoisted buckets of soil up.

漫长的劳动使阿克哈拉的土地渐渐睁开了眼睛。

The lengthy labor gradually awakened the land of Akhahara.

它看到了我们，认清我们的模样，从此才真正接受了我们。

It saw us and recognized our faces, and thus truly accepted us.

这两年，新房子也修好了，井也挖了，院子里种下的树苗也活了几棵。

In these two years, the new house has been built, the well has been dug, and several saplings planted in the yard have survived.

又赶上“新农村建设”，我们家院墙也被村政府派人粉刷了一遍。村里再没人把我们当“外人”了。

Moreover, with the "New Rural Construction," the village government even sent people to repaint our yard wall. No one in the village sees us as "outsiders" anymore.

至于马，已经可要可不要了。

As for the horse, it's now a want that can be had or not.

但是，哪怕到了现在，拥有一匹马，——这仍然是多么巨大的愿望啊！

Yet even now, owning a horse remains such a huge desire!

至于被一匹马高高载着，风驰电掣地奔向远方，——那情景让人一想到便忍不住心血沸腾。

As for being carried high on a horse, speeding away towards the horizon, that scene simply raises one's spirits with excitement.

阿勒泰市虽然是小地方，但好歹也算是城市了，车流不息，街道两边招牌拥挤。

Although Altay City is a small place, it’s still considered a city, with a constant flow of traffic and crowded shop signs lining the streets.

但我曾经见过有人就在这样的大街上策马狂奔。那是真正的奔跑，马蹄铁在坚硬平整的黑色路面上敲击出清脆急促的声音。

But I once saw someone galloping down such a busy street on horseback. That was true running, the sound of hooves striking the hard, even blacktop with a crisp, urgent rhythm.

四面都是车辆，那马儿居然视若无物，大约是见过世面的。

There were vehicles all around, and that horse seemed utterly unfazed, probably well-experienced.

要是在乡下，远远地看到前面有汽车开过来，骑马的人大多会勒停马儿，让到路基下面，怕马儿受惊驾驭不住。

In the countryside, if a rider sees a car coming from a distance, they often reign in their horse to let it pass, fearing the horse might get spooked and become unmanageable.

我一直目送那人和他的马消失在街道拐弯处，才意识到他们刚才闯红灯了。

I continued to watch that person and their horse disappear around a corner before I realized they had just run a red light.

虽然阿勒泰市是牧业地区的城市，但转场的大批牲畜是不允许上主街道的。

While Altay City is the city of a pastoral region, large herds of livestock are not allowed on the main streets.

游牧的队伍经过时总是远远地绕过市区。但对于马，好像没听说过什么特别的规定。

When a nomadic herd passes through, they always detour far around the city center. But I’ve never heard of any particular rules against horses.

因此在奇怪完“怎么有人在街上骑马”之后，很快又开始奇怪“为什么没人在街上骑马”了。

Thus, after musing, "Why is there someone riding a horse on the street?" I soon began to wonder, "Why isn’t anyone riding horses on the street?"

富蕴县则不一样，有人高头大马地经过身边，是极寻常的情景。

In Fuyun County, it’s common to see people riding tall, proud horses passing by.

至于阿克哈拉，就更不用说了。但无论如何，我妈也不该有那种想法啊，搞一匹马让我骑着上下班？太酷了。

As for Akhahara, that goes without saying. But still, my mom shouldn’t have that kind of thought, getting a horse for me to ride to work? That’s so cool.

想象一下吧：有朝一日，自己骑着马去行署或者教育局送文件……一定令人叹为观止。

Just imagine: one day, riding a horse to the government office or the education bureau to deliver documents... It would certainly be breathtaking.

假如我有一匹马，我能为它做些什么，才能真正得到拥有一匹马的乐趣呢？

If I had a horse, what could I do to truly enjoy owning it?

首先，我得搬家，搬到城郊野地上。盖栋新房子，并圈起一个大大的院落。

First, I’d have to move, relocating to the outskirts where the fields are. Build a new house and encircle a large yard.

我还得在院子四周开垦出大片的土地，种上深浓茂密的马草。还得嫁给一个也愿意养马的人，最好他已经有养马的许多经验了。

I would also need to cultivate a vast area around the yard for dense, lush horse grass. Plus, I’d need to marry someone who also wants to raise horses, preferably someone with plenty of experience.

另外将来的孩子也得喜欢马。这样，我就得为了马永远留下来，永远地……也就是说，除非我真正地爱上阿勒泰，决心永远生活在阿勒泰，否则我就永远不可能拥有一匹马。

Additionally, the future children must like horses as well. Thus, I’d have to stay forever for the horse... In other words, unless I truly fall in love with Altay and decide to live there forever, I could never own a horse.

我还想再打电话问问妈妈关于马的事情，但想来想去，终于没有。

I wanted to call my mom again to ask about the horse, but after thinking it over, I finally didn't.