三只小猪（1）

很多精神病患者都是在小的时候受到过各式各样的心理创伤。

Many mental patients have experienced various psychological traumas during their childhood.

有些创伤的成因在成人看来似乎不算啥，根本不是个事儿。

Some of the causes of trauma may seem trivial from an adult's perspective, just a small matter.

但是在孩子的眼中，周边的环境、成人的行为所带来的影响都被放大了，有些甚至是扭曲的。

However, in a child's eyes, the surrounding environment and the behavior of adults amplify the effects, and some of them can even be distorted.

很多时候，也正是如此，有些人藉此得到了常人得不到的能力，即便那不是他们希望的。

Many times, it is precisely because of this that some people gain abilities that ordinary people cannot obtain, even if that is not what they wish for.

坐在我面前的这个患者是个五大三粗的男人，又高又壮，五官长得还挺楞。

The patient sitting in front of me is a burly man, tall and strong, with rather rugged features.

但是说话却是细声软语的，弄得我最初和他接触经常适应不过来。

But his speech is soft and gentle, which often made it difficult for me to adjust at first.

不过通过反复观察，我发现我应该称呼为她更合适。

However, after repeated observations, I realized it was more appropriate to refer to him as "she."

我文笔不好，没办法形容，但是相信我吧，用她是最适合的。

I am not good with words, and I can't describe it well, but trust me, "she" is the most suitable term.

我：不好意思，上周我有点儿事儿没能来，你在这里住的还习惯吗？

Me: I'm sorry I couldn't come last week because of something. Are you getting used to living here?

她：嗯，还好，就是夜里有点儿怕，不过幸好哥哥在。

She: Well, it’s okay, I just feel a bit scared at night. But luckily, my brother is here.

她认为自己有个哥哥。实际上没有。

She believes she has a brother. In reality, she does not.

或者说，很早就夭折了，在她出生之前。

Or rather, he passed away a long time ago, before she was born.

但麻烦的是，她在小时候知道了曾经有过哥哥后，逐渐开始坚信自己有个很会体贴照顾自己的哥哥，而她是妹妹。

But the trouble is, after she learned about the existence of a brother when she was young, she gradually began to strongly believe that she had a brother who was very caring and looked after her, and that she was his younger sister.

在她杀了和自己同居的男友后，她坚持说是哥哥帮她杀的。

After she killed her boyfriend with whom she lived, she insisted that it was her brother who helped her commit the murder.

我：按照你的说法，你哥哥也来了？话是我自己说的，但是依旧感觉有一丝寒意从脊背慢慢爬上来。

Me: So according to you, your brother also came? Although I was the one who said it, I still felt a chill slowly creeping up my spine.

她微笑：对啊，哥哥对我最好了，所以他一定会陪着我。

She smiled: Yes, my brother treats me the best, so he will definitely be with me.

我：你能告诉我，他现在在哪儿吗？

Me: Can you tell me where he is now?

她：我不知道哥哥去哪儿了，但是哥哥会来找我的。

She: I don’t know where my brother went, but my brother will come to find me.

我觉得冷飕飕的，忍不住看了下四周灰色斑驳的水泥墙。

I felt a cold shiver and couldn't help but glance at the gray, mottled concrete walls around me.

我：我很想知道，到底是你杀了你男友，还是你哥哥杀了你男友，还是你哥哥让你这么做的？

Me: I really want to know, did you kill your boyfriend, or did your brother kill your boyfriend, or did your brother make you do it?

她低着头咬着下唇沉默了。

She lowered her head, biting her lower lip in silence.

我：你自己也知道，这件事儿不管怎么说，都有你的责任，所以我会跟你谈了这么多次。

Me: You do know that, no matter what, you have a responsibility in this matter, which is why I’ve talked to you so many times.

如果你不说，这样下去会很麻烦。

If you don’t speak, this will get very complicated.

如果你不能证明你哥哥参与这件事儿，我想我不会再来了，我真的帮不了你。

If you can’t prove that your brother was involved in this, I don't think I will come back; I really can’t help you.

你希望这样吗？

Do you want it to be like this?

我尽可能的用缓和的语气诱导，而不是逼迫。

I tried to guide her with a soothing tone, rather than pressuring her.

她终于抬起头了，眼泪在眼眶里打转：我不知道为什么你们都不相信，我真的有个哥哥，但是他不说话就好像没人能看见他一样，我不知道这是怎么了，但是求求你真的相信我好吗？

She finally lifted her head, tears welling up in her eyes: I don’t know why none of you believe me. I really have a brother, but when he doesn’t speak, it’s like no one can see him. I don’t know what’s going on, but please really believe me, okay?

说完她开始哭。

After saying that, she began to cry.

我翻了半天，没找到纸巾，所以只好看着她在那里哭。

I rummaged around but couldn’t find any tissues, so I had to just watch her cry.

她哭的时候总是很小的声音，捂着脸轻轻的抽泣。

She always cried very softly, covering her face and gently sobbing.

等她稍微好了一点儿，我继续问：你能告诉我你哥哥什么才会出现吗？

When she calmed down a little, I continued to ask: Can you tell me when your brother will show up?

也就是说他什么时候才会说话。

In other words, when does he speak?

她慢慢擦着眼角的泪：夜里，夜里只有我一个人的时候他会来。

She slowly wiped her tears from the corner of her eyes: At night, only when I'm alone does he come.

我：他都说些什么？

Me: What does he say?

她：他告诉我别害怕，他说会在我身边。

She: He tells me not to be afraid. He says he will be by my side.

我：在你梦里吗？

Me: In your dreams?

她：不经常，哥哥能到我的梦里去，但是他很少去，说那样不好。

She: Not often; my brother can come into my dreams, but he rarely does, saying that it’s not good.

我：你是说，他真的会出现在你身边。

Me: You mean he really appears beside you.

她：嗯，男朋友见过我哥哥。

She: Yes, my boyfriend has seen my brother.

我：是做梦还是亲眼看见？

Me: Was it in a dream or in real life?

她：亲眼看见。

She: In real life.

我努力镇定下来，强调调查的事实：你的母亲、所有的亲戚、邻居都异口同声的说你哥哥在你出生的两年前就夭折了。

I tried to remain calm, emphasizing the facts of the investigation: Your mother, all your relatives, and neighbors all say that your brother passed away two years before you were born.

你怎么解释这件事儿？

How do you explain this?

她：我不知道他们为什么这么说。

She: I don’t know why they say that.

我：除了你，你家人谁还见过你哥哥吗？

Me: Besides you, has anyone in your family seen your brother?

她：妈妈见过哥哥，还经常说哥哥比我好，不淘气，不要这个那个，说哥哥比我听话。

She: My mom has seen my brother and often says that he is better than me, not naughty, not wanting this or that, saying my brother is more obedient than I am.

我：什么时候跟你说的？

Me: When did she tell you this?

她：我小的时候。

She: When I was little.

我：是不是每次你淘气或者不听话的时候才这么说？

Me: Was it said only when you were naughty or disobedient?

她：我记不清了，好像不完全是，如果只是气话，我听得出来。

She: I can’t remember clearly. It seems like it was not totally the case. If it was just to get angry, I could tell.

我：《三只小猪》的故事是你哥哥告诉你的？

Me: Did your brother tell you the story of "The Three Little Pigs"?

她：嗯，我小时候很喜欢他讲这个故事给我听。

She: Yes, I loved it when he told me that story when I was little.

在这次谈话前不久，对她有过一次催眠，进入状态后，整个过程她都是在反复的讲《三只小猪》的故事，不接受任何提问，也不回答任何问题。

Not long before this conversation, I had previously hypnotized her. Once she entered the state, throughout the process, she was continually telling the story of "The Three Little Pigs," not accepting any questions or answering any questions.

自己一边讲一边笑。

She was laughing while telling it.

录音我听了，似乎有隐藏的东西在里面，但我死活没想明白为什么。

I listened to the recording; there seemed to be something hidden within, but I couldn’t figure out why.

那份记录现在在我手里。

That record is now in my hands.